Why did it take me two (2) years to the day to hit “Publish” on my Blog. Why indeed. As of this very moment only a few people even know about this blog, and, if you are keeping score, which, that’s all Bloggers write and (some) obsess about. All the self imposed rules you have to follow to be a successful blogger. “Monetize” is the buzz word that’s just an energy drain. That’s a drain on my energy so, I just want to write. Find my voice maybe, inspire someone, and yeah, I’ll hit publish a second time and feel a lot differently than I did the first time, two (2) years ago.
Accomplished. It felt like I did it for a moment anyway. I published something I wrote. No grand party. Boo hoo. All those years of talking about what I really wanted to do as far back as high school and never doing it…why, because I was afraid. And, then at the same time I was more afraid of never doing it. It’s a vicious cycle I don’t want to repeat another two (2) years. Then why two (2) years? The beauty is, I don’t owe anyone an answer here. (Imagine me holding a megaphone outside in my driveway) “Literally no one knows about this blog!” (Imagine me [smiling] because that feels like freedom to write, [outside on a nice sunny day with a gentle delta breeze blowing by]).
What you resist, WILL persist. Words in caps staring at me yesterday, DO NOT RESIST OR RUN in one of my many reference books to draw inspiration from for this post. I was under attack, under heavy fire, Spiritually, now that I think about it. Then there was the severe anxiety diagnosis and the why behind that.